In "For That He Looked Not upon Her," a poem by sixteenth-century
poet George Gascoigne, he develops a complex attitude through his use of
diction, imagery, and form. Throughout the entire poem, Gascoigne really
sets the attitude of the piece through his use of diction. He creates a
gloomy and almost dark/depressing mood. For example, right off the
bat in lines 1-2, he says, " You must not wonder, though you think it
strange, to see me hold my louring (gloomy) head so low." Also,
looking at the last line of the poem, he says, "Because your blazing
eyes my bale have bread," (line 14). The use of the word louring,
which means gloomy, and bale, which means misery, strongly portrays that
he is depressed.
Gascoigne continues to create the complex attitude of the poem through his
use of imagery. In lines 5-8, Gascoigne describes a mouse when
he writes, "The mouse which once hath broken out of trap is seldom
ticed with the trustless bait, but lies aloof for fear of more mishap, and
feedeth still in doubt of deep deceit." The imagery the author
uses to describe the mouse is very vivid. The reader is easily able to
visualize a mouse that broke out of a trap, and still proceeded to go back
for the food again despite the fact that it had previously been
tricked. This use of imagery also helps to create the complex
attitude because it is sad that the mouse is so easily deceived. Another use
of imagery in the poem can be found in lines 3-4 when Gascoigne says,
"And that mine eyes take no delight to range about the gleams which on
your face do grow." The reader can picture him looking at the woman's
gleaming face, however experiencing no delight or joy out of seeing her. This
also contributes to the complex attitude of the poem because the fact that he
is unable to appreciate her presence, contributing to the depressed mood of the
poem.
Gascoigne also uses form to develop the complex attitude of the
poem. As previously stated, lines 1-2 state, “You must not wonder, though
you think it strange, to see me hold my louring (gloomy) head so low.”
Then, looking at the end of the poem, in lines13-14, he says, “So that I wink
or else hold down my head, because your blazing eyes my bale (misery) have
bred.” By beginning the poem with him holding his head down, but the woman not
knowing why, and ending the poem with him still holding his head down and
revealing his misery is due to her, it ties in the whole attitude of the poem,
looping the ending back to the initial idea. By using this form, as well as
specific diction and imagery, he can help to develop the attitude of the entire
poem.
Poetry Essay Reflection:
After
completing my first AP Literature and Composition poetry essay, let’s just say I came to the realization that I definitely
did not receive a 9 on my first attempt. I would probably give myself a 4-5. The most relevant aspect from this
experience was learning what types of mistakes I made when analyzing poetry, in
order to receive a decent score on the future AP test. Although there were aspects
of analyzing the prompt I succeeded in, other parts of my analysis were
lacking. After discussing the student samples of the essays with my classmates
of a well scoring, medium scoring, and low scoring essay, I have learned
qualities that my essay should have as well. For example, I understood the
meaning of the poem, however, I didn’t do a very good job of connecting the
form, imagery, and diction back together, and I also didn’t recognize the form
of the poem. By reviewing different styles of poems and practicing more essays
in the near future, I believe I will be able to improve my poetry analysis
essays.
Peer Reflections:
Alex Grant (http://grantalexanderapenglish2015.blogspot.com/)
Alex, looking at your essay and reflection, I do agree that you did not have a "persuasive analysis" of an essay which would've received a 9, however, I disagree with the score you gave yourself. I think you may be grading yourself a little too hard. According the characteristics of a 3 essay on the rubric, your essay would have to be "partial or irrelevant" with "misconstrued evidence" and contain "an unclear focus or inadequate development of ideas." Looking at your essay, I saw much more potential than you gave yourself credit for. For example, you had a very clear understanding of the speaker's emotions as well as the metaphors he used about the mouse trap and the fly in the fire to describe his relationship with her. The fact that you recognized this and provided textual evidence to support this already earns you more than a 3.
Something that I believe you could've done to improve your score even more would be to have an introduction to your essay versus jumping right into it, to give the reader an idea of the topic of your essay. I would also recommend having a conclusion to tie all of the aspects of your analysis back together to show your understanding of how the from, diction, and imagery work together to convey the complex attitude of the poem. One more thing I believe you could do to improve your score would be to add some more specific textual evidence on form and diction in order to get your essay to the persuasive level. Overall though, I think you did a nice job and I would score your essay in the 5-6 range.
Gina Deaton (http://deatonginaapenglishlit2016.blogspot.com/)
Gina, I completely agree with the score you gave yourself. I believe you are definitely deserving of a 7. Your entire essay is very well written, and you did a nice job of answering all parts of the prompt. To start off, you had a strong introduction that did a nice job of not diving straight into analysis, but rather introducing the reader to what your essay was going to be about. You also did a nice job of using purposeful evidence from the text, and recognizing/understanding all components of the prompt, as you addressed Gascoigne's use of form, diction, and imagery.
I also agree that something you could continue to work on would be making your analysis more persuasive. You could also specify a an attitude besides being "complex" and explain why that attitude is complex. Overall though, your essay was very well written, especially for being the first poetry analysis essay. The conclusion that you wrote was also very effective in tying everything together. You definitely earned a 7!
Revised Draft:
In "For That He Looked Not upon Her" a poem by sixteenth-century English poet George Gascoigne, he confronts the reader with his misery due to love. Gascoigne addresses that he does not look at his lover and show her affection, although he recognizes her beauty, because of the heartbreak she has caused him. Through use of tonal shifts, diction, and imagery, Gascoigne portrays how he feels diminutive and trapped due to love, which creates the complex attitude of the poem.
Looking at the first few lines of the poem, the speaker describes his actions when he says, "You must not wonder, though you think it strange, to see me hold my louring head so low," (lines 1-2). The tone at the beginning of the poem is somber and resigned, as the speaker indicates he is facing a hardship and he will not look at his lover and show her affection. Gascoigne uses specific choices in diction including "strange" and "louring" to help create the somber feeling. The word strange allows the reader to wonder right off the bat why the speaker will not look at the woman. The word "louring" really helps to create the somber feeling because it means gloomy, and the image of a man holding his gloomy head low depicts to the reader his hardship.
In the next couple lines of the poem, the speaker includes the first tonal shift of the poem, which helps to set up the complex attitude. In lines 3-4, Gascoigne writes,"And that mine eyes take no delight to range about the gleams which on your face do grow." This tonal shift is very important because the speaker diverts attention from himself to the woman. Gascoigne choice in diction when he said, "no delight" and "gleams which on your face do grow" shows a binary opposition that the speaker finds the woman attractive and recognizes her beauty, however, he is not delighted at the sight of her and is no longer attracted to her. The complex attitude is the speaker recognizing the woman's attractiveness, but paying her no attention because of the misery she's caused him.
The next few lines of the poem are also very important in creating the complex attitude of the poem because this is where he addresses the fact that he feels trapped by the woman and is afraid of entering another relationship for fear of more misery. In the next tonal shifts, Gascoigne moves his focus to a mouse and then a fly, which serve as a metaphor for his feelings. In lines 5-8, the speaker uses a mouse in a metaphor when he says, "The mouse which once hath broken out of trap is seldom ticed with the trustless bait, but lies aloof for fear of more mishap, and feedeth still in doubt of deep deceit." He then follows this metaphor with another, this time about a fly when he writes, "The scorched fly which once hat 'scaped the flame will hardly come to play again with fire," (lines 9-10). By including these metaphors, Gascoigne shifts the focus from the woman back to himself, through comparison. The comparison to the mouse is important in the complex attitude because he s basically saying, that a mouse who gets trapped will not make the same mistake again and will experience fear and mistrust when eating food, whereas the speaker is afraid to enter another relationship, or even remain with the woman he speaks of due to the mistrust and heartbreak she has caused him to feel. Similarly to the fly that will not be fooled by the fire's attractive light and be burned again just like the speaker doesn't won't look at the woman despite her beauty because he doesn't want to experience misery again. Gascoigne's use of diction also helps with this complex attitude because by using words such as "in doubt of deep deceit" and "ticed with trustless bait" it shows the mistrust the mouse has, just like he has mistrust in love. Imagery also helps create this complex attitude because the reader can easily picture the fly that was scorched in the fire and the mouse that is weary and mistrusting of food after being stuck in a trap.
The final lines of the poem contain one last tonal shift from the focus on the mouse/fly to the speaker himself. This really emphasizes why he is in misery as this is how he started and ended the poem. The speaker's choices in diction also help with this tone shift when he says, "Whereby I learn that grievous the game," (line 11) and, "Because your blazing eyes my bale have bred," (line 14). By using the words "grievous is the game" he is saying he understands that love can be a dangerous game which has caused him grief. The words "blazing eyes my bale have bred" means when he looks into her eyes, it causes him misery, which is why he does not look at the woman.
Through the speaker's use of various tonal shifts in the poem from himself, to the woman, to metaphorically comparing himself to a trapped mouse and fly, back to himself, Gascoigne creates the complex attitude of the poem, that he feels diminutive and trapped due to love. His use of diction and imagery also helps to create this complex attitude.
Revision Reflection:
Looking at my original essay, I didn't necessarily understand the meaning of the poem completely, which is why my original essay lacked recognition of the complex attitude in the poem and what devices Gascoigne used to create it. Having knowledge of the Three Sentence Thesis and tonal shift charts really helped my understanding of the poem and how to create my thesis and body paragraphs. For example, learning how to write an effective three sentence thesis helped me create a strong introduction that the speaker does not look at his lover and show her affection, although he recognizes her beauty, because of the heartbreak she has caused him. The tonal shift chart also helped me to improve my essay because I could recognize when the speaker diverted attention away from himself, as well as the importance when he focused on himself/comparing himself to the mouse and fly. The tonal shift sheet helped me develop my body paragraphs effectively and support how he achieved these shifts with support in diction and imagery, which is what the prompt originally asked you to analyze. It also helped me better understand the meaning of the poem. So, overall knowledge of tone shifts and how to write a three sentence thesis helped form my revised essay.
